Where 2 or More are Gathered

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Comment by Coquette Bath (Cari) on December 6, 2009 at 10:25am

Thank you, Sharon, for posting this. I have been a bit under the weather (allergies) and dealing with a brand new world that is quite alien to me. I've never worked in an office environment, or in a 'cube' or with so many people. This is a huge, HUGE company and there is also the 'management/union' thing going on. And I'm smack dab in the middle of a brou ha ha with one person leaving (or did she?) and swirling rumors.

I'm trying to keep my head down and learn my job. Which may share the same title with others, but is totally different. No one can really train me to do it, as no one else does it. But some people do 'this part' and others do 'that'. So I'm having to ask a lot of questions.

They (others in my level) report to a manager who reports to another manager who reports to a director. I report directly to this director. So that is yet another weirdness.

All in all, I'm getting the hang of it. I've inadvertently got at least one guy upset as the 'lady who is gone?' was apparently doing some work that he was to do. Women sometimes do that, don't they? They want to please. Oh well....it will be fine. I'm just happy that I have a good income, now. No benefits for another 60 days, though. And I have a few teeth...well, I haven't had money for a dentist in about a decade. So, that's gonna be my worry until the middle of February comes around.

Thanks so much for your prayers. Prayers DO move mountains!

Comment by Sharon Hightower on November 28, 2009 at 3:59pm

For those of you who have been praying for Cari at Coquette Bath, she did get a full time job with good pay. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for her and PRAISE GOD that HE hears us and answers prayers. Just wanted everyone to continue to pray for her as this is a different type of job for her and she is going through and adjustment. But she has job, benefits and God has His faithfful hand on her! Hallelujah!

Comment by Coquette Bath (Cari) on October 6, 2009 at 6:13pm

thanks for all of the prayers! I can feel them working in my life. There is a sudden 4th grade job open and Lockheed martin has called me in for an interview. I still ask for the 'highest and best' to manifest. Thanks again for all of your support.

Comment by Sharon Hightower on October 6, 2009 at 11:20am

Thought eveone would like this little analogy:

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.

Happy Fall!

Comment by Coquette Bath (Cari) on October 2, 2009 at 6:59am

As a sidenote to my previous post, I'll take that next teacher certification test on October 31st.

Would appreciate prayers and mojo for it. I think I'll ace it, but this is just too important.

And I broke a tooth yesterday, so any prayers that a local dentist will work with me on a reasonable payment plan (I don't have credit cards any longer) would also be appreciated! Thanks to you all and blessings for your week.

Comment by Coquette Bath (Cari) on September 28, 2009 at 9:29pm

Something did happen for me this past week. I sub, as you all know. And last week, I subbed at my daughter's high school for a teacher I've assisted before. She wasn't ill...she was off to judge a contest, so we had time to chat before she drove to Dallas. She was overjoyed I was the one handling her class.

We did talk about my current lack of a teaching job. She told me to speak to the teacher next door, who is the department chair. I've also subbed for this teacher, before. So I did. We had a nice lunch. During it, I mentioned my current teacher certification and the fact that I could get another one, but hadn't pursued it. She got this look on her face and said, 'get it'. And she said it many times.

Seems that they don't have a teacher who can teach marketing at one of the local high schools. And at my daughter's school...well there is someone qualified, but she doesn't want to teach it. That's my undergrad degree: Marketing. I'd love to teach it.

So I've asked for permission to take the certification test for this which will be given at the end of October. The dept head said 'get the cert and you'll be a slam dunk'. I'm hoping she means in January!

So it was a blessing. But like all of them, I have to 'show up' and do the work.

Comment by Sharon Hightower on September 28, 2009 at 5:29pm

What is up with my group today? Anyone want to share a prayer request or a praise report??

Over the weekend I attended a "craft show" of sorts as a member of Texas Artfire Guild. It was held in a very nice retirement community. I did pretty well and making money was one thing, the more important aspect of this was the ability to spend some one on one time with the retirees that live in this facility. I felt it was a blessing more than that I was there to make money. As I am older, the sweet ladies would come by and look and buy or just look and talk. It was a blessing for me to have the opportunity to listen to them talk about their grown children and grandchildren. So many of them have no family here, and it seemed to me that for just a few minutes we connected and they did not feel so alone. God gives us dual blessings somedays. For me this was definitely one of those days. I am not impatient with older people and my Mom and Dad have gone on to be with the Lord. It really helped me to be around people who might have been close to their age and to visit with them and just pay attention to them.
Our group is going to try to do this twice a year at this particular facility and also try to get into some of the other facilities around town that are owned by the same people. I truly am blessed today because I participated in this event. I pray that each of us will look at the older generation and remember one day we are going to be in their place, and how important it might be to have someone spend some time talking to us, or just say a kind word, or offer to pray for their sick children, grandchildren, etc. I had a lot of those requests, for daughters and sons with cancer and other diseases. I could relate and I made a list of people to pray for.
Did anyone have a blessing this past weekend?

Comment by Coquette Bath (Cari) on September 18, 2009 at 7:50pm

Valerie, I've always talked too much (LOL)....

But seriously, I am saying nothing here that I wouldn't say out loud. Perhaps not to the person standing beside me at WalMart, but still...

Sharon, I copied that prayer and will start praying it daily. It is beautiful.

Back to you, Valerie,

I was married for nearly 12 years (but I only count 10 as I was in divorce hell for nearly 2)...to someone who constantly belittled me. Made me feel not only not desirable or even human, but somehow the reason for his sadness and issues. He was the problem. But I enabled him to blame me. I did not stand up for myself. And I think, truthfully, that God has given me time apart from a man to learn how to be a complete person. I thought I was, but I wasn't. And I was taught a very painful lesson.

I don't say this to say that you have to bail on your marriage. As Sharon says, pray about it. But his issues are not your issues. He may have some that require the help of a therapist or a minister. If he won't go and seek help (and mine wouldn't as everything was my (&())* ing fault...) then you know that you have to make a choice. And I don't think God wants us to be in pain. He doesn't need it. We are already perfect and beautiful and acceptable. The only reason for pain is for us to learn our lessons, I think. And wake up to the beauty of ourselves.

Keeping you in my prayers.
Cari/Coquette

Comment by Sharon Hightower on September 18, 2009 at 12:45am

Dear Valerie,
My heart breaks for you. When you are in a situation like this where someone is feeding you lines like they want out, I might be wrong, but I have been here, I just feel the need to call them on it. If you are the only one working, how is it going to effect you financially. One less mouth to feed.
Now don't get me wrong, I was and still am a firm believer in the marriage vows being a commitment and should be kept. But sometimes we get in a place where God cannot work if we don not step out of the situaiton. I have been here. Sometimes, the person who is saying abusive and hurtful things to you is doing it because they are feeling worthless, and it is THEIR problem not yours. I have done everything but stand on my head and spin in one relationship to convince that husband that he would find work again, and try to stop the negative thinking pattern.
Remember OUR GOD IS NOT A NEGATIVE GOD. He has a plan for everyone of our lives. The truth lies in whether we were following God's plan when we married these people. I know I was not. I know it. I chose to do it anyway, and I suffered for 18 years in a life in hell. I would go to church or a women's group meeting and come home with hope in my heart and right away would come the barbs and the condemnation of my actions. Now, you see because I believed in the power of God to change things, I stuck it out.

I read books that I thought would help me "understand" where his issues were coming from. Have you ever read "Hurt People, Hurt People?" Might help. Don't know what his story is. But, if you have had past childhood or other relationship problems where you have felt abandoned and alone in this world, you are a prime target for the wrong man. Voice of experience here. When we have had childhood experiences that somehow we never felt good enough or loved enough, or even just emotionally abandoned, we make bad choices in men.
When you look back at your life only you can decide where this started and how it should end.
First of all, you were created by God. He does not make junk. We find ourselves at a cross-roads sometimes thinking "this choice looks better". Well, as I have told my daughter, satan does not come to you looking like the evil being that he is or as a serpent, he hits you face on looking like the best thing that could ever happen to you. )Right here she could add her on sad, heartbreaking stories}
Once he has you, and these kinds of men know when a woman is insecure about herself in any way. They smell it on you like fear.
I will make this short. My experience had brief flashes in my mind that I truly think came from God that gave me hope that God would save him and we would be OK. The key is, does he want God to help him? We cannot force people into anything. PERIOD.
Maybe you should just call him on his words. Sit down and calmly say, "you seem very unhappy - why don't we take a break?" Have him leave. In the meantime, give God a chance to work on you. To shore you up, to give you confidence in Him that He will see you through whatever the outcome. You truly have to put God before the husband. It is God, spouse, children, other family. This is Biblical.
Valerie, I am speaking from experience here. I promise you that I feel you fear that if you utter these words it will be over. So, I will tell you this little prayer that I prayed, my daughter has prayed in a similar situation, my son prayed when he couldn't figure out what was happening in his marriage, and several of my friends have prayed.
"Dear Lord, please just show me the truth about this situation. Open my eyes and my ears so that I can truly see what is happening here. Show me if it is your will for me to stay in this marriage. Help me to stay strong and true to you and to follow thru with whatever I need to do. I know you do not want me to suffer abuse, or verbal abuse or the total disruption of my thought process with fear. Fear comes from satan. Pefect love casts out fear and Lord you are the example of perfect love. Help me to have the confidence that you will carry me thru this no matter what, and fill my heart with peace. Whatever answer comes back Lord, I know you will not forsake me because i am your child.
Help me to face this problem head on and help me to see myself as YOU see me - cleanesed by the blood of Jesus, a child of the King, a sinner saved by GRACE and someone who wakes up every day with a clean slate and your mercies with me all day long. I believe that you love me and that you will take care of me and quieten the voices of doubt that satan is putting into my mind. I trust only you. In Jesus name, Amen."

Now, I am going to tell you the honest truth. I prayed that prayer and in 2 days I had God's answer for me. My daughter prayed that prayer and had her answer within 12 hours. My son, prayed this prayer and had God's answer in a week.

You have to be ready for whatever it is and that is where you fairth in God has to overcome every thought in your mind. Pray that satan cannot penetrate you thoughts with fear of abandsonment. As God to put a protectie hedge around you and your son so that nothing can penetrate it. Go to Ephesians 6 and find the scriptures and put on the full armor of God. Pray that God's will is done. You could be with someone God did not intend for you to be with. And you could be wasting precious time while the right man is waiting. Believe me, I know this. I am now with the man God had for me. My life is 100% different. No more tears, no more beating myself up because everything was always my fault. The ex had his own issues. I was blinded by them the first year we were married. Everyone else could tell me it was a mistake and I would get mad at them. So I suffered for 18 years. The day I prayed this prayer was the turning point in my life. I was ready to do whatever it took to find peace. Don't mess up your life. If God tells you this is the right man for you and to hold on, then just pray for him all the time. We will pray for him. Men's egos are damaged when they cannot provide for their families. That could be what this is about. He could just be a selfish person. I don't know him.
but God knows his heart and you have to let him work here. Step back --- way back and give this to God. Please. If God tells you to hang in there - then by all means do it. But if God shows you a truth that makes you know you have to get out, then -- do it. We are not meant to be miserable. I am praying for you and praying for you that you will pray this prayer. That God will enable you to stand up for YOU - Valeries - His child. I love you and my prayers are with you 100%. Your life is on overload right now with work and this issue. You have to take care of Valerie and there is nothing wrong with that. Please let us know on this group if you pray the prayer or if you need more moral support to do it. I am sure all of us will pray for you to find the answer. In the meantime, stay in God's word and pray. Did you know that there are 365 statements in the Bible that start with "be not afraid"? Ever wonder why?
Because God has His plan for your life and it is a plan to prosper you and for you to be happy not miserable.
Love you, hugs, Sharon

Comment by Valerie on September 17, 2009 at 8:41pm

Just pray, Coquette. I have a box labeled TFGTD(things for God to Do) on my desk at work. People laugh andmake fun of it, but when it is all too much, or I don't have the confidence I know to make the choice, I write it on a piece of paper and put it in there. I just let God have it and let it go. I accept what comes to me.

That being said, I am requesting prayers today because my family is literally falling apart. My marriage has struggled on and off for a while- my husband has very serious mood swings, gets depressed, starts saying things liek "this is not the life I wanted " "I need to get away from you and take a break" "I am so sick of this" and I, having been a child of abandonment, automatically jump to thinking it's all my fault and trying to fix it- but you can't make aperson happy, people find that in themselves. My husband recently had an accident at work, the workmen's comp had drug out and drug out to where we were in some pretty serious financial crisis. We just took a second mortgage on the house because my salary barely pays the groceries and daycare. Finally he is released to go back to work and now there is no work (he is construction) so he is going from disability right to unemployment. He is stressed, making all kinds of statements that make me feel horrible, etc. We have been looking forward all week to going camping (I really need a break- my job has been hell for a few weeks and I just wanted to have some fun time with my family) and he tells me tonight as I am loading up the camper that we can't go. I was just heart broken. Sharon gave me some advice a few weeks ago about not feeding into it when he gets like this, so I tried not to. But, right now, this was the one thing I had to look forward to- I really wanted just a weekend for all of us, no worries and to enjoy each other. Now I hae nothing. Nothing to look forward to. I am not sure my husband is going to stick this through with us, I am not sure I can keep taking the brunt of all the depression and I don't want my kid to keep being disappointed. I would say we have had rotten luck lately, but in my heart I think that he has just come to the point in his life where he is tired "of playing house" as he puts it. I want a normal life, I want a happy life (not all the time, but just once in a while would be great!).
Please pray for us.
That is the most I have ever just let out and told people and it feels pretty good. I usually talk to Sharon about this, but I see how much Cquette has been sharing and all the wonderful advice people have been giving- this is such a non judgemental group I felt compelled to come here tonight and ask for help.
Thanks.

Coquette- Really, don't make choices that you think are going to make you miserable, but don't shut doors just because it's change. I wish I had the guts to make some big changes in my life.

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